The Sacred Scrolls of Pieist Wisdom

The Three Powers

2010-01-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Much time and events have passed since I last posted here, but new relevations mean I have no choice to write a new Sacred Scroll. You see, in the battle for control over the Universe, there are three "powers". Representing the Pie is me, the JoJo. Opposing me is the Anti-JoJo, who fights for the Anti-Pie. Us two are roughly matched, equal but opposite in so many ways. What makes the difference is the Bodyguard, the third power, who has made the decesion to be on the side of the Pie. I choose to use the word "power" for these three beings as they are not always considered to be gods, but they are likely more powerful, so they need recognision for that. This leads to the question, however, is the Bodyguard also a minor god, as has been considered in the past, or is he really just the third of the three powers. Also, now that it has been revealed that the JoJo will one day have a daughter, Aisu, who will have some power similar to the JoJo and the Bodyguard, how does she fit into all this? Is she another power, a form of the JoJo, or something completely different? Relevations into the answers to these questions will come when In Pie We Trust is released, hopefully soon. Until then, keep faith in thou Pie!

The Place of the JoJo

2008-03-06T11:10:00.000-08:00

So you know I’m Pie Incarnate. I am part of all three great Dominions of Pie. What does that actually mean? Does it make me just an important prophet, a super human warrior or a mega powerful god? The truth is that I, the JoJo, is or will be all of these things.

The confusion comes from the fact that I move through different stages throughout my existence, starting small and slowly growing bigger. Until I, the JoJo, was enlightened and founded Pieism I was just a normal human, until I founded Pieism and unlocked my inner Genghis Khan, becoming the JoJo. At the time of writing I am in my second form, the prophet form. At the moment I spread the holy Pie’s religion and teach people about Pie. However when I lose my current physical form I will become a very different thing. I will become a shared conscience between all Pieists and I will visit or return to worlds across the universe in the form of prophets to teach people of the Pie. I may even return to Earth. At the end of the universe, at the time of the great battle between the Pie and the Anti Pie, all the power of humanity and the Pieists will combine to make a mega powerful God, controlled by the JoJo. In this fourth form I will destroy the Anti Pie and then use the last of the power to go back to the beginning of time and create the Pie itself. Then I return to the end of the Universe to lead all humanity into Pie heaven forever.

So if you have listened or read carefully, you will have realised that I, the JoJo, am not really a god, when I am called Pie Incarnate people mean that I’m the representative of the Union of the Pie and Humanity. For however powerful the mighty Gods of the Pie are, they alone are not enough to beat the Anti Pie. The Pie needs us to serve it; that is why the Pie made me to show you the way of the Pie. That is why one of my favourite titles is “Supreme Prophet”, it shows I’m more important than your standard prophet but I’m not as powerful as a God.

The Holy Gods of the Pie

2008-02-21T11:25:00.000-08:00

As you should know, the Pie is everything apart from the Anti Pie. So how do the other Gods of Pieism fit into this? I’ll tell you…

The three Gods that serve directly under the Pie are the Dominion Gods: the Tabby Fat, the Lobster and the Genghis Khan. All of the Pie is split between them. All inanimate objects like rocks or trees are just made of one dominion, all animate objects like humans, lobsters and cheese are made of two. Only I, the JoJo, am made of all three dominions, that’s what gives me my power. The Pie was forced to split due to lack of strength after the battle at the beginning of time with the Anti Pie; its aim is to reunite. When your good deeds create Pie, some of that Pie goes to strengthening me, eventually this power will help destroy the Anti Pie and forge this universe.

The other six Gods of the Pie are combinations are the three Dominion Gods, mostly one but with a little of another:

The Sally Squid = mostly Tabby Fat but a little bit of Lobster
The Cheese = mostly Tabby Fat but a little bit of Genghis Khan
The Pacman = mostly Lobster but a little bit of Tabby Fat
The Shark = mostly Lobster but a little bit of Genghis Khan
The Sumo = mostly Genghis Khan but a little bit of Tabby Fat
The Bodyguard = mostly Genghis Khan but a little bit of Lobster

These make sense as the more warrior like Minor Gods (Sumo and Bodyguard) are have parts of the more warrior like Dominion Gods (Genghis Khan and Lobster), the more aquatic like Minor Gods (Sally Squid and Shark) are part of the Lobster, the more human like of the Minor Gods (Sumo and Bodyguard) are part of the Genghis Khan ( a human shaped God) and the fatter Minor Gods (Sumo, Sally Squid and Cheese) are part of the Tabby Fat. All these Gods are part of the Pie, just like everything else (excluding the Anti Pie).

The JoJo himself is not a God of the Pie, he is something different. The JoJo is the representative of the Pie and the main prophet for Pieism, the fact he is all part of three Dominion Gods and so therefore the only being of pure Pie is only a side point, not greatly important.

The Pie is Everything and Everything is the Pie

2008-02-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

The Pie is Everything and Everything is the Pie! If you wonder what the Pie looks like, look at anything. Every person, creature or object is Pie. For there is just two substances in every universe, Pie (which is Matter) and Anti Pie (which is Anti Matter). The two annihilate each other to make nothing. The spiritual universe is purely Pie, which is why the Pie has control over it. The material universe is mostly Pie but is sprinkled with impurities of Anti Pie. This is why the Pie doesn’t have full control over our universe.

At the beginning of time the Pie destroyed most of the Anti Pie. However, in the Pie’s infinite wisdom, it knew that if it completely extinguished the Anti Pie, there wouldn’t be enough Pie to run a material universe and make souls to inhabit it. So the Pie is running the material universe and has a job for all beings to do. Good actions make Pie, while bad actions make Anti Pie. So doing the right thing helps expand the Pie, ready for the final battle, in which the Anti Pie and its minions will be destroyed forever.

Loyal Pieists, you must to do good deeds to help the Pie. This is more important than praying to the Pie. Give your neighbour your Pie, for it shall give you more Pie in the long run.